This is such meaningful writing, thank you! I particularly agree with the following: There is a miserable gap between seeing yourself clearly and having the discipline to respond differently, and I think that gap is where most people actually live..Also loved your tips about how to avoid falling into a pattern, I wrote them down for myself as a reminder when all the times I am so hard on myself...
The timing is insane. As I'm someone who is struggling with my own beliefs and behaviour.I think I know, why I'm feeling this way and why I'm reacting exact opposite of my own belief is the things that keeps me up at night ( this is not pride but humbling ). So yeah, I'm fighting my own thoughts and it's painfully correct when we are aware about ourselves and are still stuck . As you said, Sometimes awareness can imprisoned you when you know what to do and still don't do anything. here comes the gap between our own beliefs and behaviour as you said, the person we become when we have something to lose and what we have imagined is so real,human and excruciating thing . I might sound messy right now because I know I'm repeating the same thing maybe I'm just speechless and not good with words, still writing this bcoz this post made me feel hopeful about myself that I'm not the only one struggling . And gradually discovering my ugly parts and accepting them and let me tell you it is really hard. KNOWING YOURSELF DOESN'T SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF is the best phrase i have ever come across and yet it is very sad and painful to digest. SO yeah, thank you for this sweet ๐ .
Yes, as a student of Buddhism for thirty years, awareness is at the heart of awakening to each moment. But being able to liberate/transform our emotional responses is much more biological and primitive. I, too, agree that Western Psychology has approached cognitive explanations as solutions. When that is only a frontal brain strategy of top-down management. The basic truth of our limbic systems, encoded threat responses, is why we all need to learn to connect with and notice our somatic as the primary indicator before the mental. Peter Levine, one of my favorite Somatic mentors, says, "Without tools, trauma rules." I also find the self-inquiry can be a "part" (in IFS-internal family systems language) that keeps us safe and is developed as another mechanism because our primary needs were not met, so we develop a mental over-functioning strategy. I appreciate this inquiry.
This is such a good essay and it shows that your feelings and hurt explain your behavior doesn't justifies it. It's about the change that comes after self awareness and how much effort one is putting because ofc people grow with flaws and learned patterns, it's how you choose to leave the bad patterns behind.
Hasif, what you wrote is truth. Psychology is good at diagnosis but poor at changing behavior. Diagnosis is not enough, like you said. Knowing is good but insufficient. You have recognized the situation, understand a great deal of the variables, and appreciate the gap.
It seems to me that if there was a proven, efficient, reliable way to close that gap, we would know about it and be doing it.
I gotta say this is a beautiful writings. To all who feel they have become an adult but not fully understand what kind of adult they have become, this really helps. Just sharing from my pov, you are right to say โknowing yourself doesnโt save you from yourselfโ. It gives me goosebumps when I read the title because no one has ever said that. But the I clicked and read, I understand now and I can relate so much with reality and life experiences.
You mentioned; โWe become so good at explainingโฆโ yes that much is on point. However in my pov, I called that as pride talking because when someone believes they know everything they feel superior. That would explain your title. This is normal since we are humans, unless we donโt learn, we will not know the lesson. Little do people know is, to overcome this is by having self awareness. This is where a person has the ability to self reflect. You may think โoh everyone knows to reflect, dont teach meโ; actually it is not that simple. Not many people can do reflection. Self reflect means you have to acknowledge that even though you know something and believes you are right, you are still wrong either way. Now comes the other part after self reflect, it is Humility. This is very much harder to reach because it relates to your spiritual connection with Allah S.W.T. Simply, I can say that self awareness is your ability to see the storm, and humility is surrenders to the decree. Humility is the one that saves us from mental prison. I gotta say reading this made me realise Alhamdulillah I am born as a muslim. Thank you again for this beautiful piece.
This is such meaningful writing, thank you! I particularly agree with the following: There is a miserable gap between seeing yourself clearly and having the discipline to respond differently, and I think that gap is where most people actually live..Also loved your tips about how to avoid falling into a pattern, I wrote them down for myself as a reminder when all the times I am so hard on myself...
Saw right through me . Thank you for sharing ๐ซถ๐พ
The timing is insane. As I'm someone who is struggling with my own beliefs and behaviour.I think I know, why I'm feeling this way and why I'm reacting exact opposite of my own belief is the things that keeps me up at night ( this is not pride but humbling ). So yeah, I'm fighting my own thoughts and it's painfully correct when we are aware about ourselves and are still stuck . As you said, Sometimes awareness can imprisoned you when you know what to do and still don't do anything. here comes the gap between our own beliefs and behaviour as you said, the person we become when we have something to lose and what we have imagined is so real,human and excruciating thing . I might sound messy right now because I know I'm repeating the same thing maybe I'm just speechless and not good with words, still writing this bcoz this post made me feel hopeful about myself that I'm not the only one struggling . And gradually discovering my ugly parts and accepting them and let me tell you it is really hard. KNOWING YOURSELF DOESN'T SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF is the best phrase i have ever come across and yet it is very sad and painful to digest. SO yeah, thank you for this sweet ๐ .
oh!
Yes, as a student of Buddhism for thirty years, awareness is at the heart of awakening to each moment. But being able to liberate/transform our emotional responses is much more biological and primitive. I, too, agree that Western Psychology has approached cognitive explanations as solutions. When that is only a frontal brain strategy of top-down management. The basic truth of our limbic systems, encoded threat responses, is why we all need to learn to connect with and notice our somatic as the primary indicator before the mental. Peter Levine, one of my favorite Somatic mentors, says, "Without tools, trauma rules." I also find the self-inquiry can be a "part" (in IFS-internal family systems language) that keeps us safe and is developed as another mechanism because our primary needs were not met, so we develop a mental over-functioning strategy. I appreciate this inquiry.
This is such a good essay and it shows that your feelings and hurt explain your behavior doesn't justifies it. It's about the change that comes after self awareness and how much effort one is putting because ofc people grow with flaws and learned patterns, it's how you choose to leave the bad patterns behind.
Hasif, what you wrote is truth. Psychology is good at diagnosis but poor at changing behavior. Diagnosis is not enough, like you said. Knowing is good but insufficient. You have recognized the situation, understand a great deal of the variables, and appreciate the gap.
It seems to me that if there was a proven, efficient, reliable way to close that gap, we would know about it and be doing it.
I gotta say this is a beautiful writings. To all who feel they have become an adult but not fully understand what kind of adult they have become, this really helps. Just sharing from my pov, you are right to say โknowing yourself doesnโt save you from yourselfโ. It gives me goosebumps when I read the title because no one has ever said that. But the I clicked and read, I understand now and I can relate so much with reality and life experiences.
You mentioned; โWe become so good at explainingโฆโ yes that much is on point. However in my pov, I called that as pride talking because when someone believes they know everything they feel superior. That would explain your title. This is normal since we are humans, unless we donโt learn, we will not know the lesson. Little do people know is, to overcome this is by having self awareness. This is where a person has the ability to self reflect. You may think โoh everyone knows to reflect, dont teach meโ; actually it is not that simple. Not many people can do reflection. Self reflect means you have to acknowledge that even though you know something and believes you are right, you are still wrong either way. Now comes the other part after self reflect, it is Humility. This is very much harder to reach because it relates to your spiritual connection with Allah S.W.T. Simply, I can say that self awareness is your ability to see the storm, and humility is surrenders to the decree. Humility is the one that saves us from mental prison. I gotta say reading this made me realise Alhamdulillah I am born as a muslim. Thank you again for this beautiful piece.