stumbled upon this piece and somehow it resonates with my current situation. i recently chose honesty over pretending i've met the love of my life and already discover the way to love myself. i ended up abandoning my other half bcs I'm too busy with myself which I think not a good way to treat someone whom you loved so deeply, it tortured them and i become the villain. in this condition, i believe leaving him is the best option although i certainly sure i will regret this choice later (bcs he sets the standard very high). but as you said, i'll wait for God's timing, when I am done with myself and ready to share again. anyhow love this piece so much!
this was such a thought-provoking and beautiful read. initially in my life I felt the same way, like you’re at a crossroads and if you choose one path you’ll automatically lose the other. you’re at a constant dilemma and become a walking paradox. you want to be loved but want that independence to explore and find yourself. children especially will definitely invoke responsibility that will put a pause on travelling and exploring during their formative years.
i do feel as though being in a loving relationship with the right person will not complete you, but guide you to unlocking pieces of yourself you never would have seen without a relationship. speaking from experience, being with a loving, supportive and caring partner will allow you to blossom, not because of them but with them. they don’t define you and make you sacrifice parts of yourself.
for example, being in a relationship has taught me so much about the flaws and quirks in the way I communicate with my partner especially during conflict. without them, I wouldn’t have learnt this part of me. i feel as though i am learning more about myself day by day in being vulnerable with another person. possibly i am just in love but i think it’s a good thought for others to think about.
Thank you, both, for writing something that is so raw. It's difficult to not mourn the loss of that possibility—that could have been but didn't happen because you walked a different path. Just picturing both brought me peace. 🤍
watched a movie lately that is akin to this concept of being with someone vs. wanting to also savor the freedom that we have in exploring ourselves, and I do agree that these two different things can co-exist. perhaps when entering a relationship, one really needs to be clear about this compartmentalization from the start. if not, this i think is what most relationships cause to fall apart, the resentment in the constraint of not being able to let themselves grow as separate individuals.
Thank you I am coming out of a similar situation. I am not expecting anything I’m just trusting in the process. I spent years decades running from myself only to find what I had truly wanted was inside me and my own family all along. Although it was very hard to not explain to others what or why I was not responding or reaching out , I would have never known what was so important and worth trying a different way. I’m praying that things are changing with every small change I make.
Beautifully expressed the inner turmoil of our mind and emotions especially the way we all have to carry pain and pleasure of our life choices throughout our life and some life choices will haunt us in some parts of our life and some will make us question our so called righteous image we have about ourselves!
love is all around us, it takes on so many forms that it’s abundance can feel overwhelming- threatening even- but if you’re true to yourself, whatever that means in a given moment, you’ll go the right way. There is no destination.
this brought tears to my eyes. leaning more into my late 20s and finally embracing being single and individuality i have been struggling with the feeling of “being alone” versus “feeling lonely”. this read was incredibly validating and brought a whole new perspective to light.
burying myself into someone else can be an escape. we can choose ourselves without the feeling of losing something else.
this is not a loss- rather a gain of strength and ability for growth for choosing myself, rather than an empty void for missing the feeling of someone else.
Wow, this article is stunningly beautiful. Dua's essay is relatable to my bones. I've recently returned to the USA after living in Asia for two months, and am still processing the same realizations. I felt more seen, more alive, more real, when I was completely alone in a new country, because I could make my own reality every day. And it was simultaneously empty.
Life holds so many paradoxes. It's a gift to hold them all! 💙
I feel the story of my life has been expressed here.. i am almost 38 not been able to figure out what i chose of the two futures..
stumbled upon this piece and somehow it resonates with my current situation. i recently chose honesty over pretending i've met the love of my life and already discover the way to love myself. i ended up abandoning my other half bcs I'm too busy with myself which I think not a good way to treat someone whom you loved so deeply, it tortured them and i become the villain. in this condition, i believe leaving him is the best option although i certainly sure i will regret this choice later (bcs he sets the standard very high). but as you said, i'll wait for God's timing, when I am done with myself and ready to share again. anyhow love this piece so much!
this was such a thought-provoking and beautiful read. initially in my life I felt the same way, like you’re at a crossroads and if you choose one path you’ll automatically lose the other. you’re at a constant dilemma and become a walking paradox. you want to be loved but want that independence to explore and find yourself. children especially will definitely invoke responsibility that will put a pause on travelling and exploring during their formative years.
i do feel as though being in a loving relationship with the right person will not complete you, but guide you to unlocking pieces of yourself you never would have seen without a relationship. speaking from experience, being with a loving, supportive and caring partner will allow you to blossom, not because of them but with them. they don’t define you and make you sacrifice parts of yourself.
for example, being in a relationship has taught me so much about the flaws and quirks in the way I communicate with my partner especially during conflict. without them, I wouldn’t have learnt this part of me. i feel as though i am learning more about myself day by day in being vulnerable with another person. possibly i am just in love but i think it’s a good thought for others to think about.
I read this article just after choosing my myself over love, and it feels so comfortable after choosing myself!
Sometimes I feel like Substack is just the thoughts I have never said out loud finally confronting me
Commendable way of expressing, compelling the reader to pause and feel more of what couldn't be described but always felt❤️
Thank you, both, for writing something that is so raw. It's difficult to not mourn the loss of that possibility—that could have been but didn't happen because you walked a different path. Just picturing both brought me peace. 🤍
if i had a son, i would name him after my fav author, Hasif
watched a movie lately that is akin to this concept of being with someone vs. wanting to also savor the freedom that we have in exploring ourselves, and I do agree that these two different things can co-exist. perhaps when entering a relationship, one really needs to be clear about this compartmentalization from the start. if not, this i think is what most relationships cause to fall apart, the resentment in the constraint of not being able to let themselves grow as separate individuals.
Thank you I am coming out of a similar situation. I am not expecting anything I’m just trusting in the process. I spent years decades running from myself only to find what I had truly wanted was inside me and my own family all along. Although it was very hard to not explain to others what or why I was not responding or reaching out , I would have never known what was so important and worth trying a different way. I’m praying that things are changing with every small change I make.
Beautifully expressed the inner turmoil of our mind and emotions especially the way we all have to carry pain and pleasure of our life choices throughout our life and some life choices will haunt us in some parts of our life and some will make us question our so called righteous image we have about ourselves!
This was a beautiful read. The details. The tug between wanting space and wanting a companion. The emotions around it. Very well put.💜
love is all around us, it takes on so many forms that it’s abundance can feel overwhelming- threatening even- but if you’re true to yourself, whatever that means in a given moment, you’ll go the right way. There is no destination.
this brought tears to my eyes. leaning more into my late 20s and finally embracing being single and individuality i have been struggling with the feeling of “being alone” versus “feeling lonely”. this read was incredibly validating and brought a whole new perspective to light.
burying myself into someone else can be an escape. we can choose ourselves without the feeling of losing something else.
this is not a loss- rather a gain of strength and ability for growth for choosing myself, rather than an empty void for missing the feeling of someone else.
This was like breathing for the first time in a really long time
Wow, this article is stunningly beautiful. Dua's essay is relatable to my bones. I've recently returned to the USA after living in Asia for two months, and am still processing the same realizations. I felt more seen, more alive, more real, when I was completely alone in a new country, because I could make my own reality every day. And it was simultaneously empty.
Life holds so many paradoxes. It's a gift to hold them all! 💙