I appreciate your vulnerability, and how you both generously put into words a silently difficult truth. I've shared this to help a friend. Thank you ❤️
I spent so much time trying to become emotionally unforgettable to other people that I completely forgot to build a life that felt safe to return to within myself.. That sentence stopped everything.🙌
Because that is the most precise description of what happened to me. Not that I was unloved. Not that I was abandoned. But that I poured so completely into being needed, being available, being the one who stayed, that I looked up one day and couldn't find myself anywhere in the room.
The version of me that existed before I learned to make myself indispensable. She was still there somewhere. I just hadn't looked for her in a very long time.
I asked my readers this week whether they remembered who they were before the person who taught them that love required that kind of effort. The answers are still coming in. And every one of them sounds like this piece.
Thank you for this! I'm navigating a new connection, and I can't help but translate silence and distance as betrayal or abandonment. Now I have language for what I've been feeling and most importantly a guide to help navigate something beautiful without self-sabotage intruding.
It’s honestly worth noticing how some people give away their entire selves, pouring out their hearts and emptying their souls for someone, only to be overlooked, or worse, taken for granted.
Not saying that’s always the case, but it happens more often than we admit.
After being a loser in love, I think I’ve come to one conclusion:
no matter how much you give, the other person’s love or commitment is never guaranteed.
So love deeply.
Make them feel safe.
Be there for them.
Support them wholeheartedly.
But draw a line somewhere. Please.
Because this journey is long, and trust me, you cannot make it through without yourself.
There is so much in this. Not just the writing but the lived experience. The pain of never feeling like enough and feeling like you have to earn love every day. Words can't capture it but if you know, you know. Healing is hard because you have to step away from others and gain real comfort with yourself. But when you are in the middle it is lonely and scary. And until you have built that comfort with yourself you can feel very uncertain. And even after you do, you still seek love and connection. Because we still need love. Happiness and love can't always be found solely within ourselves.
Thanks for a thought-provoking read that reminds me that none of us are alone in this quest and struggle.
Beautiful discussion and description of what one does initially out of their fears of abandonment and anxious attachments ! Love is for ourselves first , and when we learn to love ourselves , we learn how much to give and where to draw boundaries. I have learnt that only when we love ourselves right , can we love others right.
I appreciate your vulnerability, and how you both generously put into words a silently difficult truth. I've shared this to help a friend. Thank you ❤️
I spent so much time trying to become emotionally unforgettable to other people that I completely forgot to build a life that felt safe to return to within myself.. That sentence stopped everything.🙌
Because that is the most precise description of what happened to me. Not that I was unloved. Not that I was abandoned. But that I poured so completely into being needed, being available, being the one who stayed, that I looked up one day and couldn't find myself anywhere in the room.
The version of me that existed before I learned to make myself indispensable. She was still there somewhere. I just hadn't looked for her in a very long time.
I asked my readers this week whether they remembered who they were before the person who taught them that love required that kind of effort. The answers are still coming in. And every one of them sounds like this piece.
DK, The Unraveling 🤍
good lord hasif, uou make me emo every fing time
Beautiful piece guys!
This resonates so deeply. Thank you!
Happy to see your collaboration with Abdullah. Good read
This is genuinely one of the best pieces on the matter ! 🫀🫂
this post is soo well written i love it 💌
Thank you for this! I'm navigating a new connection, and I can't help but translate silence and distance as betrayal or abandonment. Now I have language for what I've been feeling and most importantly a guide to help navigate something beautiful without self-sabotage intruding.
This is really something.
It’s honestly worth noticing how some people give away their entire selves, pouring out their hearts and emptying their souls for someone, only to be overlooked, or worse, taken for granted.
Not saying that’s always the case, but it happens more often than we admit.
After being a loser in love, I think I’ve come to one conclusion:
no matter how much you give, the other person’s love or commitment is never guaranteed.
So love deeply.
Make them feel safe.
Be there for them.
Support them wholeheartedly.
But draw a line somewhere. Please.
Because this journey is long, and trust me, you cannot make it through without yourself.
been losin myself many times just to keepin love that never saw me as who i am.
So much to derive from this piece Hasif.
So Many lessons about struggles, and about not loosing yourself and the Vulnerability and realness in the piece.
I love it and I just subbed.
Kindly check out my substack and connect back if it resonates.
https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/i-know-you-think-im-happy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3g3d4k
https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/not-loved-at-home?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3g3d4k
I'm writing ✍ pieces on mental health for the month, As it is a mental health awareness month.
I hope you enjoy reading this. Have a beautuful week ahead
Much relatable, and wonderful find for the moment!!
There is so much in this. Not just the writing but the lived experience. The pain of never feeling like enough and feeling like you have to earn love every day. Words can't capture it but if you know, you know. Healing is hard because you have to step away from others and gain real comfort with yourself. But when you are in the middle it is lonely and scary. And until you have built that comfort with yourself you can feel very uncertain. And even after you do, you still seek love and connection. Because we still need love. Happiness and love can't always be found solely within ourselves.
Thanks for a thought-provoking read that reminds me that none of us are alone in this quest and struggle.
wow that hits...
Beautiful discussion and description of what one does initially out of their fears of abandonment and anxious attachments ! Love is for ourselves first , and when we learn to love ourselves , we learn how much to give and where to draw boundaries. I have learnt that only when we love ourselves right , can we love others right.