Let them think whatever they want

the quiet power of living unapologetically

I don’t remember the first time I realized I was being watched. Not in a literal way, no cameras, no stage lights, no crowd. Just the sense that someone was noticing. Observing. Maybe even forming a quiet opinion of me, one I hadn’t signed up for.

It was probably in school. Maybe when I raised my hand too confidently. Or laughed too loud at something that wasn’t even that funny. Or wore something that didn’t quite match the quiet, unwritten standard of how a person ‘should’ look or behave. I don’t remember the exact moment. But I remember the after-effect.

Suddenly, I became a curator of myself.
Filtering. Trimming. Measuring.

I didn’t post the photo because that felt too “try-hard.”
Didn’t share the poem because that felt too emotional.
Didn’t talk about dreams that felt too unrealistic to say out loud.

All because somewhere, in some room I might never even walk into, someone might think something about me.
And somehow, that mattered more than the fact that I was shrinking in real time.

I’ve been unlearning this ever since.

Slowly, clumsily, with a lot of false starts and internal arguments. Because let’s be honest, not caring what people think is a lie we tell ourselves too quickly.
We care. Of course we do.
We're wired to.
We want to belong.
We want to be understood.

But there's a difference between wanting to be understood and living in fear of being misunderstood.
And for a long time, I was doing the latter.

We underestimate how many versions of us live in other people’s heads.

There’s the “too ambitious” version. The “too soft.” The “too quiet.” The “too much.”
And none of these versions are fully real. They’re stitched together by glimpses, moments, and assumptions.
Someone saw you once, anxious, distracted, dressed in a rush, and that’s who you are to them now.
Someone saw you confident, and that made them uncomfortable, so now you’re arrogant in their eyes.
Someone saw you post too often, cry too openly, laugh too hard, dream too loudly, and that became your label.

But here’s the thing:
You don’t owe anyone the burden of constant clarity.
You don’t need to go around correcting the wrong versions of you that exist in other people’s narratives.

It is not your job to be palatable.
It is not your job to be everyone’s cup of tea, soothing and warm and exactly to their taste.
It is your job to live. Fully. Even when it looks strange from the outside.

I used to think that if I could just explain myself well enough, I’d be safe. That if I said it the right way, wrote it carefully, dressed it up in disclaimers, softened it with a joke, then maybe they wouldn’t judge me.

But I’ve learned: You could write the perfect paragraph, and someone will still misread it.
You could wear the “normal” outfit, and someone will still say you’re trying too hard.
You could be humble, quiet, non-threatening, and they’ll call you insecure.
You could be loud, radiant, and unapologetic, and they’ll call you arrogant.
You can’t win a game you never agreed to play.

So I stopped.
Or rather, I’m trying to.

I don’t want to live a life where every decision has to pass through the imaginary committee of “what will they think?”

Because the truth is: they will think whatever they want.
And you? You’ll be the one who has to live with the consequences of a life half-lived.

They won’t remember the essay you deleted.
They won’t remember the outfit you changed out of.
They won’t remember the dream you never spoke out loud.
But you will.
You’ll remember.
You’ll carry that quiet ache, the feeling of self-betrayal, done in the name of someone else's potential opinion.

And it builds. Over time, it builds.
Until one day you realize you’ve been living in the echo chamber of other people’s thoughts, not your own.

So this is me choosing not to explain myself today.

Not because I don’t have reasons. Not because I don’t care.
But because I care more about my freedom than their comfort.

I care more about growing into a person I can love, one who speaks honestly, laughs fully, dresses weirdly, posts inconsistently, and dreams loudly than fitting into someone’s curated little idea of “acceptable.”

I don’t want to be remembered as someone who was liked by everyone.
I want to be remembered as someone who was fully myself, even when it didn’t make sense to everyone.

Because of that? That’s the kind of living that lasts.

So, let them.

Let them judge.
Let them question.
Let them raise their eyebrows and write your personality into two sentences, and decide they know your story.
Let them misread your softness as weakness.
Let them call your joy “too much.”
Let them say you’ve changed.

Let them talk.

And while they’re busy forming opinions in their head, as you live.
You create.
You rest.
You heal.
You take up space.

Because your life is not a performance.
And your soul was not made for their applause.

It was made for you.

So please go be misunderstood.
Go be misjudged.
Go be the version they’ll never fully grasp.

And in doing so, go be free.

Every time you choose yourself over their perception, you reclaim a piece of your life.

If you’d like to support my writing or simply send a little love, you can do so here: Buy me a Coffee☕🤎
It means the world and helps me keep showing up with words that feel like home. 💌

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Pet of the Month: Community Winner Reveal!

A while back, I posted a little fun prompt:
"Drop a photo of your pet + their name in the replies!"
What started as a “Pet of the Week” ended up turning into something way more adorable, because my subscribers all showed up with the cutest, fluffiest, funniest entries ever, and honestly, I’ve never scrolled through so many paws, whiskers, and personalities in one thread.

So guess what? We’ve upgraded.
✨ It's now officially Pet of the Month. ✨

And here are the crowned winners as voted by you through likes and sweet comments:

Submitted by:

Indy

,

RAHAF

,

scribble

,

Ruchi Karanth

,

Gracee

,

Avery Grace’s Diary

,

anahí

.

Thank you to everyone who participated. You turned my replies into the coziest corner of the internet.

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The Big Announcement!!!!

Okay. This is it.
The huge announcement I’ve been teasing.
The thing I’ve been building quietly in the background with so much care, love, and excitement, I could burst.

I’m launching my very own digital magazine.
It’s called Soft Starts, and the very first edition is the August Issue.

This isn’t just a newsletter or a post.
It’s a full-on monthly magazine, built around the feeling of the month.
The August issue is everything I wanted August to feel like: mood playlists, cozy movie + book recs, essays, rituals, monthly prompts, photo inspo, media to consume, a full guide on how to romanticize this very specific, sticky-sweet, soft-lonely kind of month, and a full-on August survival kit for soft souls like us.

This is for the ones who want to slow down, reconnect, and start soft again.
The ones who like lighting candles with intention.
The ones who scroll for comfort, not noise.

Soft Starts: August Issue will be out between July 24–26.

All the full details + how to access it will be posted in my community group.
So if you’re already in, I can’t wait to show you.
And if you’re not yet, now’s the perfect time to come inside.

Love always,
Hasif 🤍

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